I am rather confused lately, I can not control my mind, I can not think... Part because I am sick, the coughing is very annoying, and the pills made me feel sleepy all the time. But so many things happen, and I can not go through them and I do not know what to do...
We will move to CQ soon, they changed the plan as we expected, but in such a rush still surprised us, and I do not know how to react. I should make the decision now, but I said nothing, I am lost again, totally. I do not know what I am expecting for, or what I am waiting for, and I have no idea what I am afraid of, or worry about. There is NO perfect choice, no pain, no gain, I know this, but still, I can not make the decision, no matter what it is. I hate myself being like this, no response, no plan, no idea.
It's OK sometimes to give up something, or say, as an exchange, for something else. This brings the world balance, gives us ups and downs in our lives, this makes the dream so precious. No matter which road you take, just make sure you are walking toward the right direction to your dreams.
I am always afraid of make the wrong decision, leading myself to the wrong direction, away from what I am wishing for. That's why making a choice is such difficult. Maybe chances slick away when I hesitate. I should first be clear about my aim, what I really want, deep inside me. Then, comparing all these choices, whether they can lead me to there, what's the gating parts, what actions I need to take, how long, any risk, and maybe there comes the recovery plan. Among them, there must be one fit me best in current situation. But maybe I do not have all the information I need to make the evaluation, then try to get more, and narrow the gap. Sometimes, we need to take the risk, or said, have a blind faith in something. I am sometimes being too sensible, or say idealist. We do need a little good luck to help~
Maybe it's time to leave, I always say that I will leave this company one day, maybe it's the time. There should be lots lots of chances lying in front of me, I just need to take one step. It's normal to feel nervous when we come into a new environment, but maybe we will like it when we get more familiar with it, time will help on this.
Lucia, take a deep breath, think about all these, and make your decision. And do not regret for it!