Seems this will be another hard Nov. for me again, when "willing or not" comes in front of us, similar things happened last year, and the year before that too.

It's a strange thing, that why this company, this department is moving around China, I'm wondering when it will move out to the moon, well, it's just kidding, and I am mad at it. But willing or not is one thing, worth or not is another. Now, I am confused, I am not sure whether it's worth all this effort to follow them moving around this country, from middle to the south, then to east, and now we are heading toward the west, wow, cool, eh? But deep inside, I feel sorry about myself.

I am standing on my own feet to reach what I am today, and I worked hard for it, I kept in silence doesn't mean I have no opinion towards those things, but I am waiting for the right time. I do not expect them to give me anything to attempt me, and they won't, because I am nobody, but I still have the right to feel that they do not treat me as I deserved. But what I'm expecting for? I already foresee the limits here, but it's not the right time to leave, I will leave, I know that. I think I can handle a more challenge job, more creative, and requires much more thinking and planing, well, at least, there are still a long way to go for me, and if I already set my career plan as to be a successful program manager. But did I? Too many but, I always have lots lots of "but"s...

I am clear about my situations right now, having 2 years working experience but inexperienced, I know it's not the right time. So I try to convince myself to follow them, but why I feel sad when I am thinking like that... I know sometimes, we require or expect too much, and we get so little, that's why we are unhappy, should I give up or fight hard for what I want? I never fight too hard for anything, as every time, I give myself backup plans. What if there are no recover plan, what if we fight win or die?