我连着一个星期去Visa France 的网站上去刷status, 天天一个样，偏偏今天下班回来忘记了去check, 晚上和爸爸视频聊天才记起来，一查，震惊。。。怎么就已经寄出了呢，我连个调查电话都没接到。。。一定要过啊~ 俺都开始做准备工作了，书都买了不少啦~~~ 今天倒是接到了个某某公司的电面电话，有点意外的说，俺洋洋洒洒投出去的那些个简历终于开始有回复了，RP爆发吧~ 还有宝藏同学决定清明节假期来这边玩，于是，俺制定了一个相当强大的江南4日游，4天暴走苏州，无锡，扬州还有周庄。。。经费预算为800到1000元，我觉着我还是应该省着点~恩，想想，还要嘀咕点啥呢？ 哦，complain 一下，I hate camera!!! 哎，自从camera 的sensor 缺料换了新source， camera 就是一堆乱七八糟的issue, FW 版本一个劲儿的变更，我07版的在这个平台上qual 了一大半, 在另一个平台上好死不死报了个issue，虽然是系统新版软件的兼容性问题，可是那程式是hp 写的，人家肯定是不愿意改的，只有欺负我们改小小的camera, 用FW 去cover 系统issue 啦，哎，又要qual 一遍，还有俩platform呢。。。搞得马上要MV的1.1 没得pass 的camera 用，郁闷呐~ 不过，除了比较纠结的camera 外，这个星期还是蛮清闲的，又赶上hp组织春游，所以好几天没有客户“骚扰”，meeting 也cancel了~ 嘿嘿，当然，今天就又开始嚷着要我安排urgent qual 两颗 ODD~ 我都习惯了。总结一下我的工作，我就是一催命的，催采购买物料，催供应商出货，催测试team 测试，催test report, 催RD debug 解issue， 然后变得越来越唠叨，我觉着我都要变唐僧了，特别是念测试team的时候。。。

Time flies, more than a half of this March went by. I was full of energy at the beginning of this month, ready to fight, part of the reason is that Susan Miller's forecast of this month is amazing, especially on career, which actually it's my biggest headache now. But seems it does not turn out to be as what she predict.

Although I knew that such prediction is kind of just for fun, non-scientific, still, it helps to give you some hope in a certain degree, and sometimes we do need something sounds good to turn us on. I applied several jobs on line, hoping that some might call to give me a chance for an interview, as I do not want to move all the way west to CQ, I've followed this department moving from one city to another three times already, I have the right to be hesitated this time.

I received a call from our V.P. this week, and he suggested that I can try to transfer back to WH to help him. I said yes, I want to, but I do not know how many obstacles lies in front of such a thing, as we are in such chaos now. Now the department is in War, after his leave, and "transfer to WH" probably is the last words the new boss wants to hear. And, deep inside me, I want to leave this company, this company is not all that bad, at least it's top 500, but I already see the limit, if I stay in this company for another 5 years or even longer, I would imagine what kind of life or career I will have, that's not what I want.

I do want to stay a little bit longer, as now, there are still space and chance to learn and grow, but unluckily, the adjustment of top management did cause some impact to the whole team and especially when we are in such difficult situation.

Any way, I need to stop worrying about the career thing, and be prepared for any chance that I may have, so I should keep on learning, improving myself, I am considering take a PMP certification and start to learn French again before I forget how to account in French, hah.

And for the journey that I planned for months, em, I applied again for the visa, and deeply hope I can get the visa. I was busy at preparing the application materials all last week, at work =p, so in a return, I had a really long and head-aching meeting right after I took half day off for the application, 6 hours, and we were arguing for at least 3 hours, that's the situation now we have, arguing the process, arguing the schedule, the arrangement, everything.

I told myself to complain less, the less the better, but it's hard to control myself not to lose temper. I know it's not good to complain too much, and it does not help to improve the situation at all, I really should try it harder, to control my mind, my mouth, my emotion. I should hold a right and optimism attitude, I really do, and I will ^^

March the 3rd should be like any day of the any other days, but I memo that day for 2 years, for the dream which faded, for the possibilities that I might have, for what I might missed, for I lost my battle without even fight hard for it... I just can't let it go, but time can make so. I know it will be good for me to let it go, because it does not help me in any way but make me feel sad. I should let it go, I should forgive for things that happened in my life which make it looks sucks, or my misfortunes, or myself. I did try, things just do not turn out to be what I expect, but that do happen in everyone's life. And these things make who I am, they are part of me, everybody has their won stories, I should accept it and move on. I should let it go and move on. I cried when watch the movie "eat pray love", about forgiving yourself, forgiving the past. I found that I might force or push myself hard on finding the balance or make everything under my control, only in that way, I feel safe. Why can't we live the life with somw risk, take some adventures, so we might get some surprises.